Francesinha that is literally to die for

We get a lot of hate online, for daring to not be the negative stereotypes of our people, but also from not doing the stereotypical things that many “vacationers” do when they travel to go on vacation, or Holiday, if you prefer. Travelers immerse themselves in the local culture of the foreign location they go to, while the vacationer, this person is lazy when they travel, stay in the hotel room and don’t do anything or lay on the beach all day. This person is shopping for clothes all day on vacation, buying the same clothes they can get in the USA and paying more money for them because they’re too dumb to know that the Euro is more valuable that the US Dollar, currently, so they’re paying MORE!  One of the crew members made a noticeable observation that some of the hate he was seeing, in the online comments in the social media he operates for the team of Drunkphotography.com, is from account with travel-related content or blogs. Not sure why they hate us so much, but I guess it has something to do with how some of us travel to places and drop knowledge, and or talk crap about some places that everyone loves so much, or maybe because we expose that a lot of yall are brokies trying to pretend like you’re rich by taking the trips you take then post pictures on social media pretending you’re rich,  or how we call out that a lot of you are going overseas for travel only because you’re paying for prostitutes, we have a lot of enemies just from observing things we notice, while we are out and about traveling. The dumb “influencers” are out there lying all day, they’re paid liars, and if you comment on their bullshlt travel posts that what they wrote is a lie and give the real story of what happens, with proof, they are completely caught in lies. These people lie for profit all day, because they’re taking bribes from people paying for promotion. In relation to food, you better be careful before taking the advice of WHERE TO EAT, from the influencers because I ate some of the same food they did, from locations they mentioned vs ones I got from local advice, and it’s clear the influencers are paid liars. So yeah, I can see why they’d hate us, but we’re not calling them liars, on the pages we comment on, we only do that on this site. I had one guy write us a long email that I put in the trash, because he was complaining about this post of Chile protests, trying to convince me from a pro-government stance, a bunch of TLDR nonsense and how people there deserve what they get. Ooh man… but the worst hate came from us telling you that the Flam train, in Norway, that was MID with some redeemable qualities and that one, that seriously pissed off a lot of ladies. They sent heat at us online. They were mad that we didn’t agree it was like that you see in Switzerland, which we didn’t validate since we don’t go to Switzerland, but they overhyped that Flam train for sure! We, instead, would rather go to Alaska and do that train ride between Fairbanks and Anchorage because we’re PRO-USA! Then there was Pride Month, and we put out the piece about Hans Christian Andersen, who was LGBTQ, and being different allowed him to make great works… and people got pissed because they didn’t know he was and said we ruined their childhoods. Well, maybe stop being a bigot and you’ll do better in life. Sheesh, we can’t forget the hate after that for calling out the Passport Bros who are lying about their Philippines conquests and how that’s not all it’s cracked out to be to find a wife out there— that hate was HIGH from Black men to us on that one. 🤣 The people were very pleased about revealing a really cool drive on a scenic route through Norway, the Fylkesvei 63. Another one they truly loved was the insight about Ireland’s mini civil war because everyone was expecting that nature tour, and they got that raw instead! A couple of groups of people wrote and said that they did that route after reading about it on our site, so that was really cool to hear! They rented some RVs, as we suggested, and really made an amazing time of it! Probably, the most hate from the widest array of people who agreed but didn’t want to agree,  was when we said that the Fjords of Norway—in Summer at least— are MID and that the Fjords of Alaska, in AMERICA, are better than Norway’s, thus you should go to Alaska instead. Then we had some people who complained we brag about Alaska too much, but we pointed them to the bad of Alaska, like the many people who scam you when providing Northern Lights viewing and we advised you to only do them with photography-based tour groups because they have a reputation to uphold and will know all the right spots to go!  We wrote so many things that people hated, not really hated as in they hated the content, but the hated that we said what we said and ruined the idea of it. You’ll need to go to the archives to find something that you can complain about, so do that today and hit us up on social media to vent. The biggest complain though, is that we are not taking these trips we take, as “vacationers,” that we are taking these trips as “travelers” who are doing too much immersion instead of experiencing things unlike “tourists.” The people asked us to dial it down a gram and give them some touristy things for once, so I’ll handle that today. Since I’m the most likely to do touristy nonsense, because I like a good blend of it with my immersion traveling, I’ll share some things today on a topic I love, that you don’t find on this site much, FOOD! Not just eat food though, we wanted to go try food that was local to the countries, or local to the area, so we will start throwing some food pr0n entries.

Food is definitely an overlooked thing on travel, the thing is I hate is when my group chats are filled with people who travel a lot, but they’re posting pictures of food like burgers, steak, salads and other stuff that they’re eating in these foreign countries, that are EXACTLY the same as the food in America, the way it’s presented and packaged. When I see this, it kills me, because these are clearly the vacationers, who are so lazy they don’t even look up anything in terms of places to go to eat food, they just try to find the closest food that resembles American food, and then they’ll eat at this place. I had a couple, that I met on a recent trip, follow me to a restaurant, figuring that I as like them, looking for American food in Europe. When we got to the restaurant, they looked over the menu and said they weren’t interested in eating anything in it, and asked “where is the real food like the burgers and fried or mac-n-cheese?” I thought the husband was kidding, he was not, they said they would abandon me and link up later for an outdoor even I looked up and they at least agreed to go to together, so they could feel safe they wouldn’t get mugged—this is my new purpose, apparently, because on many trips, people want to link up with me for protection in case things go down, not knowing that I’ll completely abandon them if any signs of silliness happens. The couple simply explained that they don’t want to take any changes on European food, mind you, here they are in Europe, for at least 3 weeks, I told them I didn’t think it would be possible to completely avoid European food, but they figured they’d just buy salads if they couldn’t get the food they wanted. Whatever… I found more vacationers doing exactly the same though, so they go to the touristy areas but find the most touristy food possible, to feel safe. So now I know that those overly touristy restaurants with watered down food or those that cater to American taste buds, I completely understand their reason for popular and existence now. I completely didn’t see their purposes, and now I know for a fact that they’re a gold mine! Now I get it, most times, at least from my experience in Europe, food in Europe is HOT GARBAGE! Bangers-n-Mash or Fish-n-Chips? WTf is this garbage in England and Ireland? – oh boy, I can feel another complaint coming on already for this crowd… shut it!— instead of that nonsense, I’d rather eat Haggis meals from Scotland, which is made with sheep hearts, intestines… you know, FUN food stuff! 😋 Not your cup of tea, eh? Well, that’s what separates the Travelers (me) from the vacationers (you). When I travel to a foreign country, I started a challenge to myself to ensure to consume at least 5 local cuisine or treats that are unique to that country, or, to try their SPIN variation on something I had in another country, or from back at home. The point is to try new food, and most importantly, compare variations to see who the best is in making the food that I tried. For instance, black pudding in the Spaniard or Latin world is NOT anything like black pudding in UK, but how would you know the difference in the food unless you tried both? However, to be a black pudding, it has to contain PIG BLOOD which it does!!!! The ones in the Latin world (Moronga, rellena, or morcilla), in particular Cuban style that I love, it’s without the blood, but it’s made in pig’s intestines. 😋 I’ll talk about that some other time, in a Spain version of this series, it’s really worth it. The point of that is food IS a travel experience, DIFFERENT food, that is not just any old food for the sake of having it. How one country does potatoes, for instance, that’s not the same way that another country may spice up the same types of food, and the Iberian Peninsula is KNOWN for the great potato work because when they invaded and colonized South America, in the 15^th century, this is how Europe and Asia got potatoes, from the Spaniard invaders. Food travelled the world, historically, and I gave you that example on purpose, because most people in Europe don’t even know this. Historians call it “the Great Columbian Exchange” named after the benefits that Europeans, and Asians, received from the exploits of Christopher Columbus (under the Spanish banner), such as forcing indigenous Americans into a pre-slavery system called “encomienda,”   stealing their resources, and (g)raped and or murdering off the indigenous and African populations like the Inca, and all of Africa. 😋 Food was literally important to travel, in this case! That’s why it is important, and a goal of mine, to ensure I eat local foods wherever I go, and see if I can get some backstory on any of them. So, since we as a traveler, and I like to learn the local culture and do as locals, I did just that an had a few Portuguese delights, in the process. Let’s talk about the thing I find to be the most impressive food ever in Portugal, the Francesinha. I’m claiming that the most impressive food in all of Portugal is the Portuguese dish Francesinha, pronounced “Fran” + “Sess”+ “Zeen” + “yuh.”  Translated, it means a ‘little French girl.’ You better say it correctly because the person serving you the Francesinha, when you say it to them incorrectly, they will let you sound stupid over and over, as you try to correct yourself and second guess yourself about how to pronounce it, and only when you get it right will they finally leave to put the order in for it, and the bring your damn food. I said “Francis”+”Seen”+ “her” and the lady let me fail over and over in Porto, Portugal, and she was serious, I wasn’t going to get my Francesinha unless I said it correctly. 😔 I had Francesinha twice in my trip to Portugal, to do a comparison between the two, and the place you want to really have it is in Porto, which reportedly makes the best Francesinha in all of Portugal, and it originates from there too. I beg to differ, and not to be the contrarian but I have other thoughts that I’ll share. I’ll warn you; you should only eat it if you go to the gym. Francesinha is not food to play with. I’d be lying to you if I told you I finished either Francesinha dishes, each time I bought it. It was just too much food, and most time I was eating too late anyway, my US stomach had not yet adjusted to the time change and jet lag and I had no business eating food at that time in Porto. When I had it on Porto, it was the worst experience, not Francesinha-wise but after I ate ½ of it, I had to get to locations around the city of Porto and man… most of Porto is up and down hills, bro. uhhhhhh It just was not something I should have done that day because I had a lot of walking, and pooping to do after that. I had to do a double take of what it was that I was eating when I decided I’ try that local Francesinha, which is a … sandwich… kinda thing… wtf is Francesinha really?

Technically, Francesinha is a sandwich where you put loads of meat like roast pork, some pork slices/ham or whatever, a form of steak which I think was skirt steak, a form of local Portuguese pork spiced sausages (chipolata or linguiça) smashed between toasted bread, covered in cheese—then they pour a tomato sauce or soup that is infused with a local BEER on top of the sandwich, and watch it MELT the whole sandwich! That is the BASE version of Francesinha, it’s standard in many places and the first place I had Francesinha in Porto, it was mid, not bad, but mid regardless, because it was a touristy location, and there were some design flaws in it, that I only realized when I had Francesinha in the second place in Portugal. I didn’t do the research about Francesinha prior, because I didn’t care to do food pr0n yet. However, I talked to a local in that town, and this was the difference-maker. The second Francesinha in was called Cascais, Portugal, a fancy touristy-show off luxury town, but this was not along the touristy avenue walkways. The local gave me directions to the best spot the locals recommend, and told me to head to the beach but don’t go to the beach, go close to the beat, but instead go to the train station, but don’t GO to the actual train station, go BY the train station where the OLD train station was where I would then find an old train besides the current train station, but it’s an old train that doesn’t run because it… ‘just walk that way…’ is what he settled on after looking me look at him like he was a nut job. 🤔 this was all in English, mind you, so there was no mistranslation happening here. I had doubts of eating a train inside of a train station, that sounded NYC disgusting, but since I have eaten food on NYC trains before next to homeless people who were napping, and even on that trip to Portugal I was forced to eat food 1 foot from a drunk, homeless guy who was sleeping with his legs spread wide open – I’ll talk about that one in another post, that was hella funny too. Anyway, I followed the local guy’s advice, did all of that, and sure enough, do you know the directions were exactly as he described on how to find the place, 🤣 a spot inside of an old, wooden train, with wood interior and of course plush, red, leather seating, that was at the train station but not a part of the train station at all, near the beach, that would not be busy when I went because nobody from the beach would dare fill themselves up and then go to the water. It was an old train for sure, from 1973 and the place was one of the oldest restaurants in Cascais. I arrived early, as directed, so it was empty, the best time to get in before you can’t get in without reservations. It was here, this second time, that I had the BEST Francesinha, I was completely prepared, kinda…  😣 I saw why he gave me such directions because this spot was not where the shopping and all that touristy stuff was and it’s hard to find and intimidating to get to if you tried to cross the main avenue with traffic, and it would allow me to see some cool sights on the way to the restaurant. That first time I had it, I felt paralyzed with each step up the Porto hills I took, I swore I’d shlt myself in the streets, in front of my people with me, by the end of the day, which in some places I walked in Porto, it might just blend in well anyway—or I kid, who did I piss-off this time? Porto was nice, I kid, it’s got some rundown things that are artsy cool for photography, like ruins and dirty walls in some places. But that was too much walking after eating, in Porto. In Cascais, this time I came on an empty stomach. Knowing what I learned from Porto’s experience with the Francesinha, I had no walking to do the second time, it was mostly coasting and shuttling from province to province. This was the best time to have Francesinha, I figured, so I hit up this place. This was the best Francesinha of the ones I had, by far. There was a reason or this. They did 3 things different, first, the second place topped the Francesinha off a FRIED EGG, not that your heart needed that extra day subtracted from your lifespan, but it is worth it! Second, they put the entire Francesinha IN A SOUP BOWL plate, and because the bowl is concave, it’s highly effective to do this to the Francesinha because the beer and tomato sauce mix completely overtakes the Francesinha, so it’s like you have a sandwich in a soup! If you have it, you feel like you’re not eating a sandwich, it PREVENTS you from it like you’re use to eating sandwiches like Americans, which is with your hands. To eat this Francesinha, you MUST now use utensils to eat the Francesinha! That is the trick of submergence, because Portuguese don’t eat with the hands mainly, they use utensils, so it forces you to do like locals. The third thing they did differently in the second place, that you may not see on many Francesinha’s is that after they do all that submerging in the beer-tomato soup sauce (molho), the then TOP the whole damn thing by burying it in stacks of French fries—unlike the first place which brought out a side bowl of fries and did not mix Francesinha with fries at all! The first place also served it in regular dinner plate, so the sauce is not smothering the Francesinha at all, just more like an adornment that you can dip in. It was to plain for me in the first spot but was surely a sandwich there. It was not the same experience at all. That second Francesinha though… sheehs ☠️ Holy crap, I was DEAD before I even ate the Francesinha, and while only making it halfway through eating, the restaurant owner saw me struggling to finish it off and was looking at me like a complete puss-E because I couldn’t finish it. 🤣 I thought he was getting offended or something, but I explained that the Francesinha was the equivalent of 4 McDonalds burgers. He laughed, and then was ok with that answer. I also drank a beer before, while I waited to eat, and then during. I was the one paying, and yet even I felt sad, so I started chipping away chipping away but I ate too many fries too, and by the time that sandwich expanded in the belly, I was FINITO!  

THAT is how you do travel and turn your food journey – not your silly weightloss journey– into a travel experience. I will make sure to start checking out these things before I go to places, and after talking to locals, this is the best source after gathering the info on the locations. If a local would eat in the places I find in Google Maps, TripAdvisor or whatever, the that means it has to be good. In the case of Francesinha, you may have to take a hike somewhere for the best places to get the perfect Francesinha. In Porto, the local had me set to go to a place that was like 30 minutes walking uphill, and I settled on the watered-down version from the place I went. I should have listened, but I wasn’t on my food journey yet. It wasn’t great that I could not finish the full plates of Francesinha at either location, but at least I attempted to. I drank too much beer is probably the thing. Oh, that’s another thing that is a difference maker in these Francesinha variations. Some will have different animals, or even seafood, so you can go do different places and get the variation, but my thing is it must be submerged in the beer-tomato sauce in a SOUP BOWL / SOUP PLATE because you want that extra beer taste from the sauce. This is a MUST have food and is my number 1 thing you must do in Portugal, food wise but you’re going to be turned off by it initially, I can promise you, and it’s likely going to be the beer taste to the sauce that does it. I think this is why the touristy version is not submerged in the beer-tomato sauce, honestly. Depending on north or south of Portugal, you’ll get a different beer company, Super Bock in the north like Porto, and then Sangres further south like Cascais and Lisbon, I noticed— I drank a LOT of beer. That beer-tomato sauce (Molho de Francesinha) probably makes or breaks the sandwich for people, also, and it’s very pronounced in the taste of Francesinha, or at least in the second one I had. So, if someone isn’t serving Francesinha in a bowl, don’t have it. Whoever thought of this sandwich Francesinha clearly never made it to age 21. It’s not possible, you’re going to die soon after. Also, how could you go find all of these animals in one forest? The Molho itself is a meat sauce, and should be THICK, because it has a whole bunch of extra pork in it which is their version of ‘bacon’ or pork belly and potato will help make it thicker and tastier! The Molho has to be perfect and if it’s not coming like a soup in the soup bowl/plate with my Francesinha, then I don’t want it because this forces the chefs to put a lot of the sauce if in the soup bowl/plate! You are supposed to spoon the sauce all over that Francesinha while you eat it, you get the liquor moving around your mouth while eating that impossible sandwich, it’s sick! Molho, the secret beer-tomato sauce has a a few extra secrets to the sauce as well. As I was told, you need Port wine, to also go with the beer, and Port wine has a brandy base and taste. Port wine comes from Gaia, across the water from Porto, Portugal. The reason this Molho can make or break the Francesinha is some people go sour where the beer leads the taste, and some people go the opposite way, they overload on the Port wine to make the sauce sweeter. I don’t like the sweeter version. Some of the more sour ones also use white whine in addition to all of the others, and to tame the Port wine, but the chef will use the beer to fill out the volume, so a LOT of beer is going into it. Now that you know that the Molho is supposed to be FIRE, then you tell me, why do these garbage Francesinha places serve it in a flat plate where you can’t enjoy the Molho? They give you this watery Molho and not a lot of it because theirs suck, and the sandwich is kind of dry in that case, like it was in the first place I went. It was not bad, it was MID. Second place, that got it right. The creator was a Portuguese man, Daniel da Silva, who lived in France and decided to do a spin on the French sandwich Croque Monsieur, a ham sandwich with toasted bread smothered in gruyere cheese that has a light Béchamel sauce poured over it. The Molho replaces the Béchamel sauce, and Béchamel is mostly a milk and flour paste that is spiced up with dijon mustard and cayenne peppers– they are not equal sandwiches! The form you see today, commonly served in the style I like anyway, with the beer sauce, that is NOT the version he made, it’s nothing like his original one, which was more like the Croque Monsieur. Oh, if you ever read up on this, I talked to the locals on the origin of the Francesinha, in Portugal, and they confirmed that the Francesinha was NOT created in Porto! All those influencers are idiots and are too lazy to even bother to research what they wrote on hundreds of sites. Daniel da Silva returned to Portugal, in his HOMETOWN, which was in the Alentejo region of Portugal, close to Lisbon than Porto, nowhere near Porto actually. That’s kind of wild though, because Lisbon is closest to his place, not Porto, but as Port wine is key to the Molho sauce, and Lisbon is not known to have fresh Port in common times (it’s not a top thing to drink there, and you get already opened Port there not fresh).  Francesinha didn’t take off in his local town, and this is when he took it Porto when he moved there and set up a restaurant to serve it with animals from Portugal done in the way they prepare the different meat, so the sandwich was much different at this point. Apparently, the beer sauce also came later, and by the time he made it to Porto, that’s when it had beer in it and the meat. The other things like French fries and eggs, that was a variation that came much later, along with those that are seafood based. No matter where it came from, or where you get it in Portugal, you need to get the version I’m talking about, the that intimidates you while it’s sitting on the plate in front of you, or you’re just SOFT. If you order that vegan version of the Francesinha, you should be deported! I’ll smack that shlt out of your hands if I see you eating the vegan version.

As always, the finished products can be found on the main site of www.drunkphotography.com.